Welcome back, Ella.

Remember this little picture I had in one of my posts, once upon a time?

This was on Word 2007. The blue bubbles to the right are comments on sentences I'm supposed to fix, paragraphs I had to rewrite, passages I needed to tear apart, etc.

For the past few months, I've abandoned fixing what the bubbles told me to fix. Instead, I've been working on scene revisions (as mentioned in my last post). Inserting passages, rewriting certain parts of a chapter, lengthening/chopping up chapters, and adding plot-related things that forced me to add and rewrite other scenes. For those months, I was doing that. I haven't bothered with my bubbles. Ever.

But Saturday and Sunday night, I decided that I was being absolutely ridiculous. It took me one month to write 3,000 words. One month. If that isn't pathetic, I don't know what is [at least it is for me ;)]. So Saturday, I decided that my procrastinating had to end NOW, and I worked my butt off compiling a check list--and then tackling as many points as I could on that check list in one night. At the start of the check list, I had about 93,000 words. When I was done with the check list, I ended up with 99,000.

Now, I didn't finish all of that in just one night. I had Easter night to back me up, thankfully. My word count for my 8th draft is currently 99,694, and I've added even more bullets to The Check List. The only good thing (somewhat) is that these bullets aren't as important and dire for me to add/fix/take away as the ones from Saturday and Sunday. Which means:

I'm back to my bubbles.

Honestly, I don't really like my bubbles. I have a natural insecurity when it comes to my writing that, whenever I'm changing something, I think "didn't I already do this?" or "now if I change this, then doesn't that mean I'll have to change this? and even if I do end up changing the latter, then wouldn't that open up another plot hole?" It's crazy, I know, and I tend to over think everything. Especially when it comes to my writing. And when it comes to my bubbles, it's like insecurity to the maximum. It's pathetic and ridiculous, and it's a very bad habit I can't just get rid of. Hey, maybe that's why it takes me such a long time to revise (at least that's what I like to tell myself).

In either case, I'm back to my bubbles. I might move away from them in another month or so, but for now, I'm back. And frankly, it isn't good to be back.

- E